Self- Doubt

Self-Doubt: 

    I self-doubt myself all the time, someone told me that I deserved to be happy, but I couldn't disagree more. I've always thought that every bad thing that's happened to me is what I deserved and sure I never liked it or I hated that I was always making mistakes and getting beat down on things. There is this person I like, and I like him a lot, he makes me happy and makes me laugh, and I never thought I would have SO much in common with each other. I don't think I deserve him, but I want him. Does that make sense? I am self-doubting that I can't be happy because maybe I've never really been happy before? Or maybe it's cause I keep shooting myself down when I achieve something and then hide because I'm ashamed that I did it. I don't know how, or why this person is still with me, or even still talking to me because, I know from experience that everything I like or love gets taken away. So I bury myself down real far because I'm afraid to fall. But with him, I can feel myself trying to dig myself out. I'm so scared that when I finally leave the ground that he's not gonna be there. He makes me happy, he says I deserve to be happy, but I don't know if he's right. But I hope he is. Cause what if my best isn't good enough? 

Going Offline, 

SiCi💚💙